The Only Hope We Have is Fear Itself!

As the customer looked at me and nearly shouted, "Christ Almighty!" I wondered just how far out of whack was the price I had just quoted? In the event, the superlative gasp was directed not at me, but at Nature-- and so in turn I suppose the invocation of the Almighty was completely on point.

Ask anyone with whom I am acquainted and they'll be sure to tell you of my self-indulgent tendency to brag about the climate and weather in my fair Denver. Personally I claim this as a privilege born of my many years in North Dakota, but I allow I may be presumptuous. This past 10 days has been an education to say the least. Last Sunday we witnessed 5 tornadoes in the metro area, a couple of which had the impertinence to destroy a mall very near my home. Since that ignominious day we've endured 9 consecutive near-fateful encounters with flying monkeys. 9 straight days of actual tornadoes, verified funnel clouds, Doppler verified rotation or all three. Clouds, rain, and hail were our daily delivery, and it seemed our much-storied 300 days of annual sunshine may be so much folk-lore.

The interesting thing throughout this macabre episode was my indifference. The television and radio became more digital bleeps and whistles than programming on some days, yet I never ran for cover. I peered out my window to see the wind coming from the east, just before it was coming from the west. The storm sirens on several occasions wailed their ominous message. I stayed where I was, walked the dog, drove around. In short, I had no fear. I'm not bragging, but rather found myself asking: when do we know there's a REAL problem? Surely there is a "no seriously, we f&#*in' mean it this time alert!? It never came, I never ran to the basement, we never experienced Munchkinland.

I tell you that to ask you this: when is it appropriate to be fearful? When is it rational, reasonable, and prudent to worry about the world swirling about you?

So here is the all too predictable twist(er): it is time for the American people to embrace fear... a different kind of fear. Roosevelt's famous proclamation was a good one. In economic crisis fear too often fuels an irrational reticence among consumers which creates a vicious cycle of further contraction. In this recent economic maelstrom, fear of economic Armageddon was unhelpful and counter-productive. We needed to banish fear.

However, like the Prodigal Son, fear is do for an encore performance. In the last six months we have witnessed a breath-taking expansion of federal spending, federal power, and federal paternalism. Much like a funnel bursts forth unexpectantly and before our forecasting capabilities can catch up, the Obama administration has swooped in with blistering speed to expand the reach of the federal government. He is literally seeking to rebalance and redefine the acceptable scope of government while the nation is still peering out its window, wondering whether there is any real danger.

My fear is not that one president can recast the country into a socialist experiment, collapse capitalism, or destroy the financial system. I'm not paranoid of black helicopters circling overhead to enforce the will of the state and stifle the will of the many. I'm not hoarding guns for the coming battle. My fear is not that the president wants to make the government too big. My fear is not that he has a sympathetic Congress, a sympathetic press, and a self-destructing Republican party.

My fear is that the American people are slowly but surely losing their fear of government. Much as we started to yawn after several days of sirens and alerts, the country is losing its natural, original, critical, and healthy fear of encroaching federal power. Fewer and fewer find anything wrong with big government. As long as government helps ME, I'm happy.

Famous last words of a great nation. How long before we're all desperately seeking our ruby slippers?

Dick Rising

The entertainment business is replete with examples of leading men being made the fool by their supposed subordinates. From the legendary comedy of Peter Sellers' "Pink Panther" to television legends like "Get Smart," to Hugh Laurie's obscure turn as a hapless aristocrat in "Jeeves and Wooster." The idea of a reasoned, experienced, intelligent, and well-tempered man behind the throne is as old as time. Except it seems, when it comes to Richard Cheney.

I am not entirely clear what machinations of thespian virtue it takes to ingratiate oneself with the news media, but what I know is this: it doesn't take much to tip the scales. On barely any evidence, fueled by late-night comedic caricature, and absorbed by an inattentive public, anyone can be made to be almost anything. Perhaps Dan Quayle was the first to learn this painful lesson, but he shall not be the last. Careers, it seems, are made and destroyed on the most perilous of impressions.

So, on a reed thin resume of dubious distinction we have collectively come to believe that Barack Obama is the man of the ages, the savior of nations, and the defender of all. Beautifully prosaic speeches featuring the cathartic cadence of the Black pulpit along with the soaring promise of Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy all wrapped up in an FAO Schwartz worthy box of extravaganza has taught us some important things: President Obama is a wise, temperate, just, fair, and benevolent superman who seeks every hour of every day to wake the nation, raise it above all suffering, and deliver it not unto evil! Amen!

By the same thin veneer of hyperbole we have collectively been told to believe that Dick Cheney is a fire-breathing, James Earl Jones intoning, demon of the beyond. A suspiciously balding head, ill health, and a monotone voice characteristic of the mid-west, all wrapped up in a water-boarding, gun-slinging, earth hating package of black peril. The puppet master controlling George W. Bush, destroying America's reputation, and bathing in vats of unrefined oil.

Lately the former VP has been saying a lot of things, and gathering a lot of attention as a result. I wonder whether we all need to consider how quickly a public reputation is made or frayed. What if Dick Cheney was the cool, rational, reasoned voice applying the break peddle to George Bush's emotional, gut-fueled fits of machismo? What if Dick was the moderating voice of the last 8 years? What if he saved us from global Armageddon? What if he was the only one with any experience to step forth and put together a response to 9/11? What if his relationships in the Congress, in the Middle East, and in the administration were the key nexus keeping the world on course in a potentially devastating crisis? What if Dick was right?

If he were, then he suffered the ultimate sacrifice: his dignity, reputation, and honor. He stayed silent--which made him so easy to parody. He stayed in the background--which made him so easy to distrust. He wasn't accessible--which made the media suspicious. He took no glory, asked for no thanks, and expected no promotion. He simply did his job. He simply protected the American people.

I don't know that this analysis is correct, but I think we should ask "what if?" If it is, Dick is a hero, and his modest, post-part em defenses of his efforts are over-do. He may be too much of a gentleman to throw GWB overboard, or to demand thanks and praise, but that doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't deserve our respect. Fortunately opinion polls show he is getting more of it everyday.