Nanny-State Nonsense

Various state's have varying schedules for the meeting of their legislative bodies. In ND our legislature meets for three months on odd numbered years, and we have recently been blessed with this biennial conclave. In other states their citizen legislators are full-time functionaries. Regardless, Defeners of Democracy and Keepers of the Purse have been in full swing recently, as evidenced by reports of the ever-encroaching Nanny-State. These Defenders of Virtue have once again set their lives to undermining ours.

In California--always rich fodder for such things--a law was introduced to ban spanking of any kind. Apparently it not only takes a village to raise a child, it takes a state assembly. In Texas parents risked misdemeanor charges and a significant fine for failing to turn up to parent-teacher conferences. In Florida children have been threatened with failing grades if their parents refuse to show up for a mandatory viewing of An Inconvenient Truth.

Meanwhile in North Dakota we've taken one step forward and one step back. The legislature has finally decided that a 19th century law prohibiting cohabitation might be a bit of Victorian flim-flam after all-- it took the last 8 years of failed attempts to finally undo this prudish nonsense. But, not to appear too devoted to liberty, the same state senator--MY state senator-- who pushed to end this ban has recently gone on the record in support of outlawing tanning beds! Smoking bans--which I reject ideologically, but love biologically--apparently aren't going far enough, we need to stop second-hand bronzing.

On the national level several politicians are calling for relief on so-called sub-prime mortgages. Certain of our fellow citizens borrowed outrages sums of money for over-valued real estate on non-existent credit. Surprise! Some of them aren't able to make their payments. Keeping up with the Jones' is good while it lasts, but when it all comes crashing down, Mrs. Bill Clinton is there to demand something be done to help these poor, down-on-their luck fools. Surely some Republican cabal--I'm sorry, I mean vast right wing conspiracy-- is out to make them poor!

Why are people so afraid to tell their politicians to butt out of their lives? Why do legislators and Congressmen feel so compelled to tell us all how to live every last detail of our lives? Are we really that in need of coddling? If Johnny is passing history with 102%, should his parents be called away to consult with the teacher on pain of imprisonment? When will the insanity of all this dawn on the masses?

As for me, I've stocked up on V8 in a clever profit-making scheme. When the best legal minds finally get around to passing a law that forces us to eat our vegetables, I'll avoid the rush and the spike in prices.